Your Six-Year-Old: Defiant but Loving Author: Visit Amazon's Louise Bates Ames Page | Language: English | ISBN:
0440098777 | Format: PDF
Your Six-Year-Old: Defiant but Loving Description
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
- Hardcover: 132 pages
- Publisher: Delacorte Press; 1st Edition edition (1979)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0440098777
- ISBN-13: 978-0440098775
- Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.6 x 0.9 inches
- Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
Overall, I liked the book. I was really looking for the 6-year-old version of "What to Expect: The Toddler Years." It didn't go into that degree of detail, but what it did cover was useful. The overriding message is that the time from 6.0-6.5 is volatile and often not much fun. Children are going through a lot of changes, very unsure of themselves, and need lots of reassurance (even when they're misbehaving terribly). The authors make the point that kids at that age typically aren't ready for advanced tutoring in morals, and suggest that simply ignoring a lot of the bad table manners, lying, pilfering, attitude, etc. can be the best approach. They observe that you can typically accomplish the same things better at age 7.
I found the discussion of emotional development, mental development, and physical development -- and how to support each of those -- good background material. The part where I think I made the most mental notes on my personal "to do" list was in the "Techniques" chapter. The authors suggest several general techniques including
1. Praise -- Sixes need more affirmation than other ages and are more fragile
2. Chances -- Say, "you've used up one chance. I'll give you two more chances to do ___"
3. Counting -- Say, "Let's see if you can do this before I count to 10."
4. SIdestep -- change the subject, change mode of interaction, etc.
5. Bargain -- "If you play nicely with your brother until lunch, I'll let you watch Scooby Doo while he's napping."
6. Give in -- think of yourself as modeling the behavior of compromising
7. Isolation -- Good old time out -- physically transporting the 6 to timeout if necessary
8.
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