The Well-Behaved Child: Discipline that Really Works! Author: Visit Amazon's John Rosemond Page | Language: English | ISBN:
0785229043 | Format: PDF
The Well-Behaved Child: Discipline that Really Works! Description
About the Author
John Rosemond is a family psychologist, popular speaker, featured guest on major television talk shows, author of thirteen books on parenting issues, and syndicated columnist for more than two hundred newspapers. He and his wife, Willie, have been married more than forty years and have two adult children and seven grandchildren.
- Hardcover: 240 pages
- Publisher: Thomas Nelson (October 13, 2009)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0785229043
- ISBN-13: 978-0785229049
- Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 5.9 x 0.9 inches
- Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces
The Well-Behaved Child is an entertaining step into "old style" discipline. After discounting ADD, ADHD, and basically any other psychological behavioral disorder, the author reminds parents that they are in charge of their household; their kids are kids. The chapter on "Alpha" speech is phenomenal. I have two daughters, currently ages 9 and 4. They are generally well-behaved, polite, lovely kids, but the older has had trouble keeping her room uncluttered, and the younger has had a tendency to get frustrated easily and cry about things that are really not "cry-worthy" (gloves not fitting right, not getting to eat candy for breakfast, etc.) After reading the book, I let my older daughter know that she would be missing a friend's upcoming birthday party if her room was not adequate by the morning of the party, and she would be missing any other such party in the future if it didn't stay that way. That was 3 weeks ago, and her room has been amazingly much better...bed made, no toys on the floor, clothes in the hamper and not on the floor, etc. ever since. Her comment after I told her was "the worst part about that is I can tell you are serious." Go "Alpha speech"! The younger got 3 tickets, which are on papers with little angels, and told that if she screamed because she didn't like something 3 times in a day, she would lose her night-time story privilege. She must also sit in the "chair of wisdom" for 15 minutes after an offense to think about why she should use her words instead. I think she has lost 3 angels in 3 weeks. Not bad, considering we used to have several of these fits a day. So, at least read the chapter on how to convince your kids you mean what you say when you say it.
One of the main techniques for discipline is to put kids to bed early.
John Rosemond's language is strong, and for good reason. After reading several reviews, it is quite apparent that people either love or hate John Rosemond and/or his books. For those that dislike him intensely, the running themes seem to be a problem with the phrase "because I said so," and punishment for misbehavior.
To clear things up, let's start with "because I said so." Rosemond makes it very clear that giving reasons to children is fine. In fact, he states that there are only about six reasons for why a parent ever denies a request. They're good reasons to US (and offer them if you want to), but the child won't like them anyway, so don't waste your breath. Ultimately, the reason a child needs to take "no" for an answer is because you said so. Anyone who denies this reality would much rather spend time and energy trying to get a little child to see things the way Mommy and Daddy do, so that he or she will be happier about hearing the word "no". Trying to convince the child that your reasons have MERIT (and therefore, should be appreciated by the child) is NOT FINE. This is called establishing a "power struggle" between parent and child. Not a formula for happiness or family harmony, but an excellent formula for creating rude, argumentative, and manipulative behavior... in children as young as three years old.
As for punishment, Rosemond also states that it is rarely needed --- IF you come across as someone who means and does what they say, is calm and confident about your position of authority, and you communicate with an expectation of obedience. If you haven't been that kind of a person as a parent or teacher, then you likely have an out-of-control situation --- or one that, at the very least, needs fixing.
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