The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation Author: Visit Amazon's Melody Beattie Page | Language: English | ISBN:
1439102147 | Format: PDF
The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation Description
Review
"'Codependent' is in the dictionary because of Melody Beattie. Her book is required reading." -- Christine Stapleton,
Palm Beach PostAbout the Author
Melody Beattie, one of the seminal figures in the recovery movement, is the author of the international bestseller
Codependent No More, which has sold over eight million copies and been translated into more than a dozen languages. An expert on codependency, Beattie has written fifteen books, including include
Beyond Codependency,
The Language of Letting Go, and
The Grief Club, and lectures worldwide. She lives in Southern California. For more information visit her website at www.melodybeattie.com.
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- Paperback: 288 pages
- Publisher: Simon & Schuster (December 29, 2009)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1439102147
- ISBN-13: 978-1439102145
- Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.6 x 0.7 inches
- Shipping Weight: 9.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
"The New Codependency" is the newest addition to the volume of work published by Melody Beattie. She was one of the first to identify codependency as a problem and provide information on the subject to a large audience of readers. The first book she wrote, "Codependent No More", was originally published in 1987. This book does not replace that one, it just expands on the topic and adds additional insight to the problem of codependency.
If you are new to the subject and just getting familiar with it, I would definitely recommend you start with "Codependent No More". After you are further along in your journey, this book makes a lot of sense but I don't think it is the right place to start. It really builds upon the concepts presented in the first book and there is a subtlety to it that is best appreciated after having done some work in this area already.
As in all her books, I need to sit with a highlighter and use it freely. I also dog ear pages as I go for quick reference back when I need to review. I read it straight through and then went back and took some of the quizzes offered which was really helpful. After reading it once, it is definitely not going back on the book shelf. There are a lot of activities outlined to do to help the reader address and access issues he/she is dealing with. It is almost as if there is a workbook contained within its pages. I will continue to use it as a reference/workbook for many months to come, I am sure.
Anyone who has identified themselves as a codependent (or is dealing with a codependent) will benefit greatly from this book. She conveys her message is a loving, caring way versus a list of "shoulds" which is exactly what a codependent needs. A couple of my favorite passages:
"We're giving to get.
I have always been a fan of Melody Beattie's work, and I have benefited enormously from it since the old days of Codependent No More. I have not been in a relationship with someone addicted, but I nevertheless recognized myself in the description of the Codependent. There were so many similarities: not being able to take care of myself, obsessing about other people, taking care of everyone's needs (apart from my own, that is), not having boundaries. I seemed to be a textbook codependent, except that I did not get involved with alcoholics. So I just went along with what she had to say and read several of her books.
The New Codependency is one of the best ones. It has all the usual qualities of her work:
*She uses an empowering tone: of course you can make it. And to be honest, when she describes her life of a former junkie, you cannot help thinking: well, if she managed to get out of this mess, Surely I can get out of mine.
*Her book is packed with examples. The fact of the matter is, I can see problems and solutions so much more easily when I read about someone else. Examples allow me to do that.
*There is a lot of practical, down to earth advice. I cannot count the number of books I've read which describe my dreadful problems, but then leave me there with a vague "well I guess you need therapy" chapter. I hate it. Don't talk to me about my issues if you are not able to offer one hint of advice on how to solve them.
In The New Codependency, Melody Beattie tackles important concepts she wrote about before (boundaries, taking care of oneself, deprivation, control...), but with a higher level of maturity . Because she does not go back to the basics, I would advise not to read this book without reading first her earlier work.
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