It's Not You: 27 Reasons You're Single Author: Sara Eckel | Language: English | ISBN:
B00DGZI9O0 | Format: PDF
It's Not You: 27 Reasons You're Single Description
“Why am I still single?” If you’re single and searching, there’s no end to other people’s explanations, excuses, and criticism explaining why you haven’t found a partner:
“You’re too picky. Just find a good-enough guy and you’ll be fine.”
“You’re too desperate. If men think you need them, they’ll run scared.”
“You’re too independent. Smart, ambitious women always have a harder time finding mates.”
“You have low self-esteem. You can’t love someone else until you’ve learned to love yourself.”
“You’re too needy. You can’t be happy in a relationship until you’ve learned to be happy on your own.”
Based on her popular Modern Love column, Sara Eckel’s
It’s Not You challenges these myths, encouraging singletons to stop picking apart their personalities and to start tapping into their own wisdom about who and what is right for them. Supported by the latest psychological and sociological research, as well as interviews with people who have experienced longtime singledom, Eckel creates a strong and empowering argument to understand and accept that there’s no one reason why you’re single—you just are.
- File Size: 1221 KB
- Print Length: 209 pages
- Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0399162879
- Publisher: Perigee (January 7, 2014)
- Sold by: Penguin Group (USA) LLC
- Language: English
- ASIN: B00DGZI9O0
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
X-Ray:
- Lending: Not Enabled
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #21,351 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
So when I turned 35 and had left my last serious relationship 3 years before, I was not feeling great about being single. In fact, I was kind of terrified that I had failed at the big job we have as humans. I like to read so I read some books.
Dating books are NOT the places to turn if you're not feeling great-- they make you feel worse. The homework those books gave me just made me feel MORE hopeless.
Enter this book, just in time. It is not "scientifically proven," it's not a groundbreaking technique-- it's just a woman who could be your friend talking to you in a really clear, honest way about WHAT IS NOT WRONG WITH YOU. Seriously, why does everyone tell us there's something wrong? Why do we tell OURSELVES?
I think the most useful thing a book can do-- of any kind, actually-- is make you feel connected to the world, and therefore less alone. That is exactly what this book has done. Sara Eckel describes many exact thoughts and feelings that I have had and even just by doing that makes me feel less crazy, or broken, or deficient in some way.
I don't need homework. I needed this book to remind me of some really clear truths-- that being single is not evidence of being broken, and that wanting a relationship is not evidence of being pathetic.
I am right square in Sara Eckel's demographic-- a 35-year-old, professional Brooklynite-- but I have a feeling there is a lot of universality to what she's saying, based on what I know of friends in other parts of the country and of the world.
The point being-- if you are single and you feel like there's some code that all the married people have that you never figured out, read this book.
By Critic-At-Large
Kudos to Sara Eckel for writing a much-needed book for every woman who has sat alone late at night and wondered "Why am I still single? What's wrong with me?" Her gorgeous answer: Maybe nothing!
This funny, well-written rebuttal to the most popular bits of self-help advice gives women hope and permission to stop working so hard trying to "fix" themselves to find love. Eckel manages to find something original and useful to say on this tired topic. But she stops short of syruppy advice and gives us a smart and useful perspective that makes everyone feel better, whether you are coupled or looking.
By Sarah Richards
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