Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal With People Who Try to Control You Author: Patricia Evans | Language: English | ISBN:
B001UISGUC | Format: EPUB
Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal With People Who Try to Control You Description
Learn how to 'break the spell' of control with Patricia Evans' new bestseller. Already hailed by Oprah Winfrey, Controlling People deals with issues big and small - revealing the thought processes of those who seek to control in order to provide a 'spell-breaking' mind-set for those who suffer this insidious manipulation. Invaluable insight and advice for those who seek support.
- File Size: 585 KB
- Print Length: 324 pages
- Page Numbers Source ISBN: 158062569X
- Publisher: Adams Media; 3 edition (February 1, 2003)
- Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
- Language: English
- ASIN: B001UISGUC
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
X-Ray:
- Lending: Enabled
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #29,490 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
- #29
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Psychology & Counseling > Personality - #47
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Mate Seeking - #82
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Interpersonal Relations
- #29
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Psychology & Counseling > Personality - #47
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Mate Seeking - #82
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Interpersonal Relations
Patrician Evans has developed a wonderful and plausible theory as to why certain people are compelled to control others.
All people have four internal functions available to them to use as internal guidance: their ability to think, their emotions, their physical sensations and their intuition.
Controlling people (CPs) have suffered some kind of emotional or physical trauma as children or adults that has caused them, as a defense, to shut down one or more of the first three functions. Oftentimes, the only function they use is their thinking function. This leaves them feeling empty inside. And it's a tough way to live.
For this reason, they are attracted to "four functioning" people. Once they feel secure with another person, they project their idea of a perfect person into the other person. The don't see the person for who she/he really is.
People can tell when they're in the presence of a CP because they will be defined by the CP (for example, "you're not hungry!") as if the CP can know another person's internal reality. They will not be listened to, the conversation will frequently make no sense and the CP will most likely be verbally abusive.
CPs see others much as children see their teddy bears: the perfect friend who knows exactly what the CP is thinking, who never talks backs or disagrees and who has no separate needs of their own.
CPs build their sense of sense of self from the outside in--not the inside out as is normal. Their personalities are constructs created by themselves to win the love and admiration they seek. They don't come from a place of deep authenticity. They have no sense of themselves. They need to anchor inside another person. Without that anchor in another, they feel lost and adrift, almost as if they are going to die.
Clarity!
This book is awesome. It offers understanding where no one else does. I truly believe it is new groundbreaking insight into the world of the Controlling Person. I say this with confidence because I, like the reviewer "Alliasus" here, have also read stacks and stacks of psychology and self help books in all-out effort to understand my Controlling Person husband of 18 years.
En route, I gained lots of helpful insight, but, NO insight, at all, as to why he is the way he is. On this basis I can say I don't believe this information existed until Patricia Evans wrote this book. I think this is all-new insight, and counselors and lay people alike really need to read it!
I think when people begin to discover this book there will be no stopping it. Because there are legion of us out here who live in relationships that make no sense. Our partners act awful and senselessly, but yet, we know in our hearts they are not evil at heart, and our hope in humankind says there must be some sense to this? Well, there is. Patricia Evans finally makes sense of it in this book.
What a relief, to have the pressing mystery solved. When you are a woman and this is your marriage, the mystery rather takes over your whole life. It is a major epiphany to finally get the light of understanding. Therefore, I understand exactly why yet another well-read reviewer here says that this book is second only to the Bible. I know just what she means. The Bible is the most important book in my life too. I know I will always have this book (Controlling People) right up there on my list of most important books I have ever read in my life. Bible-Lovers: this doesn't mean Patricia Evans has Bible quotes in here. There are none.
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