Introduction 1
Part I: Essentials of Emotionally Focused Therapy 5
Chapter 1: The Basics of Emotionally Focused Therapy 7
Chapter 2: Understanding the Power of Emotion in Relationships 17
Chapter 3: Organizing Your Emotional World 39
Chapter 4: Identifying the Three Levels of Emotional Experience 59
Part II: Emotionally Focused Therapy in Action: Moving from Problems to Patterns 73
Chapter 5: Finding Common Patterns of Conflict 75
Chapter 6: Finding Common Roles in Conflict 101
Chapter 7: Working Toward Fighting Less and Feeling Better 121
Part III: Finding Intimacy in New Ways 145
Chapter 8: Seeing through Withdrawing Eyes 147
Chapter 9: Seeing through Pursuing Eyes 159
Chapter 10: Facing Fears and Finding Each Other 171
Chapter 11: Overcoming Common Blocks 185
Chapter 12: Dealing with Infidelity 207
Part IV: Moving Forward Together 229
Chapter 13: Finding New Solutions to Old Problems 231
Chapter 14: Securing Your Future 255
Chapter 15: Working with a Couple Therapist 271
Part V: The Part of Tens 285
Chapter 16: Ten Questions to Ask a Therapist Before You Make an Appointment 287
Chapter 17: Ten Rituals to Bring You Closer293
Chapter 18: Ten Myths about Emotion and Relationships 301
Chapter 19: Ten Myths about Sex 309
Appendix: Resources 317
Index 321