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Home » Parenting » Download Free Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicating & Connecting in Relationships

Download Free Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicating & Connecting in Relationships

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Parenting
Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicating & Connecting in Relationships

Author: Visit Amazon's James C. Petersen D.Min L.P.C. Page | Language: English | ISBN: 0979155908 | Format: EPUB

Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicating & Connecting in Relationships Description

Review

What an eye-opener! When I started the book I thought I was a good listener. Now I know better. I am a card carrying listener/talker now. Insightful, thought provoking and thoroughly enjoyable to read. --Jim Misko, Northwest Ventures Press, Anchorage, AK

Why Don t We Listen Better? is a sensible guide to transforming verbal confrontation habits into good, healthy communication. Best of all, it comes with a Talker-Listener Card that provides a handy tool for practice. I carry the TLC in my wallet to introduce others to this listening strategy or as a reminder to keep even the most difficult and challenging conversations on a positive track by listening rather than trying to win. --Ben Vose, Astoria, OR

At last! The ingenious little card gets its due. I have used them for years. I keep one by each phone to remind me to be present in conversations with friends, family and clients. They enhance relationships with children (especially teenagers), with partners, and with parents. Why Don t We Listen Better? will open your eyes (and ears) to a new world of effective communication techniques. Pam Gross, B.A.Ed., Co-author of Want to Find a New Better Fantastic Job?, Founder of CareerMakers Inc., Portland, OR USA --Pam Gross, CareerMakers, Portland, OR

Review

Dr. Petersen's practical guide to better communication not only answers the title question, but takes the reader and user of his techniques on a journey into a higher quality of life … This is more than a self-help book. I've used it to teach communication skills and insights in my marriage and family course in college.
–Gerald W. Bertsch, B.A., M.Div. Retired pastor. Current author, teacher, and consultant.
Fond du Lac, WI


“The Talker/Listener Card is a simple idea that is enormously useful! I have used it and the book to great effect in many areas of ministry. I have used the concepts in pre-marital counseling, deacon training, Stephen Ministry, and youth ministry. It has been a vitally helpful tool in communication in my marriage and with our children, too.” Laurie Vischer, M.A. M.Div., Associate Pastor for Congregational Care, Westminster Presbyterian Church Portland, OR
See all Editorial Reviews
  • Product Details
  • Table of Contents
  • Reviews
  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Petersen Publications; 1st edition (January 8, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0979155908
  • ISBN-13: 978-0979155901
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Peterson uses creative imagery to describe poor communication habits and the relational dysfunction that occurs when we fail to listen to one another. He has termed the phrase, "flat brain theory" to explain what happens when we allow our emotions to affect our thinking which in turns affects our relating. Emotions are often felt in the stomach area. When we are afraid, we have a feeling in the pit of our stomach. We often describe excitement as butterflies in our stomach. Many people state they have a "gut feeling" about something. The brain area describes our cognitive functioning relating to facts. We use our brains to come to conclusions or evaluate facts and eventually make our case. The heart area describes the actual desire to relate. In its natural state, it operates from a win-win mode. It gives and takes, listens and speaks. Healthy communication requires an individual to use his brain to state the facts, his stomach to express how he feels about the facts and his heart to use that information to relate to another individual in a fair, loving way.

Petersen suggests that often unresolved conflicts or other emotions reside in our feeling area (stomach) when they are not properly dealt with. When an opportunity arises, those unresolved feelings will often swell up into a vast array of emotional responses. This swelling process expands the stomach area (figuratively) which in turn flattens the heart and subsequently the brain area. As this happens, the squished brain does not function properly and this affects the hearing, seeing, and speaking of the affected person. In addition, the squished heart is no longer functioning from a loving win-win stance, but instead becomes defensive and attacks.

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