Making Marriage Simple: Ten Truths for Changing the Relationship You Have into the One You Want Author: Visit Amazon's Harville Hendrix Page | Language: English | ISBN:
0770437125 | Format: EPUB
Making Marriage Simple: Ten Truths for Changing the Relationship You Have into the One You Want Description
Review
“[An] easy-to-understand handbook for creating and maintaining a “Partnership Marriage.” Lightened by a cartoon couple’s relationship conversations and whimsical descriptions of personality types (e.g., the Turtle and the Hailstorm), the book advocates a relationship in which each member helps the other recapitulate and recover from the emotional wounds of childhood…Hendrix and Hunt’s focus on gentleness, reflective listening, and removing negativity forms a decidedly common-sense approach to marriage. Base this in a clear and methodical approach, and you’ve got a workable manual for couples committed to doing a better job living a modern married life—for their own sake and their partner’s.”
–Publishers Weekly
“This book ought to be in every bride and groom's gift basket. Not only have Hendrix and Hunt created a delightful and easy-to-read guide to what every marriage needs, but they have done it by also revealing their own personal struggles (with their very happy ending) to the reader. We absolutely loved the cartoons. The book is the ideal combination of useful advice and very specific tips, and a real understanding of the huge benefits a new couple will gain from a lasting, intimate relationship. Here's how to make that happen!”
—John & Julie Gottman, authors of And Baby Makes Three
"I am thrilled that the greatest hits of what Harville and Helen have taught for decades are being distilled into one book. They are true masterful teachers and have offered clear, humorous, revelatory knowledge. Beyond supporting an intimate marriage, the application of these tools yields benefits throughout every relationship in your life."
—Alanis Morissette
“This is an enormously useful, helpful, and effective book (and workbook) for married couples, but really for relationships in general. With enormous clarity and insight, Harville and Helen walk us through the major traps of relationships, and specific techniques and exercises to overcome them, making your relationships deeper, stronger, more loving, and more rewarding—all around! Highly recommended for any relationship.”
—Ken Wilber, author of The Integral Vision
About the Author
HARVILLE HENDRIX, Ph.D, author of Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, has more than forty years of experience as a clinical pastoral counselor, therapist, educator, clinical trainer, and public speaker. He has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show 19 times. HELEN LAKELLY HUNT, Ph.D, was elected to the Women's Hall of Fame for her work in women's philanthropy. Harville and Helen co-created Imago Relationship Therapy and are founders of Imago Relationships International, Inc. They have six children and five grandchildren.
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- Hardcover: 208 pages
- Publisher: Harmony (March 12, 2013)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0770437125
- ISBN-13: 978-0770437121
- Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.9 x 0.9 inches
- Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
I really liked Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt's breakout book Getting the Love You Want in which these accomplished marriage and couples therapy innovators explain Imago Relationship Therapy. So I came to this book inclined to like it and happily I did. In Making Marriage Simple, H&H lay out 10 basic principles that will keep your marriage on a solid foundation--and more. These principles point us to go below the surface, to investigate what the deeper meanings and causes are that create marital harmony. They explore the evolutionary psychology and deeper hurts driving our behavior or "mis"behavior. Those familiar with Hendrix and Hunt's work, won't be surprised to learn they direct us to the way the wounds of our childhood drive us and how our partners are the ideal person to help us heal those wounds.
Though Making Marriage Simple is applicable to all married couples in various stages of couplehood. It is mostly written as a growth guide. If you're struggling just to stay together,The Couple's Survival Workbook: What You Can Do To Reconnect With Your Partner and Make Your Marriage Work (r) is a valuable companion or starter book.
One thing I like about this book is that H&H are willing to reveal themselves and talk about the difficulties they've had in their own marriage. As they write, "When we first started focusing on our own healing process, our relationship was a mess. We both knew a lot about marriage--in theory. But we didn't know how to live what we knew.
This is a hard review to write. I feel like the kid in The Emperor's New Clothes. Harville Hendrix has many fans, and based on his book Getting the Love You Want, I count myself among his fans. But this book, like the unclothed emperor, is an embarrassment. In an attempt to make marriage simple, Hendrix and his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, have made marriage simplistic.
I will start with a brief summary and then provide details for readers who are interested. (My copy was an uncorrected proof of the book, so it is possible that some of the quotes and page numbers following them differ from those in the final edition.) Making Marriage Simple is a small self-help book about how to improve your marriage. Some of the assumptions are questionable at best, and almost all of the fixes have been better articulated in other books. The book is quite short, less than 200 pages, and it includes lots of line drawings and some blank spaces for doing suggested exercises. Every drawing features little creatures that look like eggs with stick-figure arms and legs. Captions and text bubbles reiterate what's in the text, but the core concepts of this book are not complex and do not require repetition (often verbatim) by little cartoon creatures that resemble peanut m&m's.
Now for the criticism.
In the first chapter after the introduction, the authors advise: "You can even purchase two copies of this book (after all, we don't want you fighting over which one of you gets to read it at a particular time!)" (9). That seemed like a pretty self-serving suggestion. In my experience, it is the rare husband who is willing to read a self-help book about marriage, and I don't think the problem is lack of an extra copy.
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