Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up Author: | Language: English | ISBN:
B006TQVMBU | Format: PDF
Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up Description
Following a unique format perfect for today's world, the renowned author of The Dance of Anger gives us more than 100 rules that cover all the hot spots in long-term relationships. It's a go-to guide brimming with Lerner's signature clarity, wit, and warmth.Couples today operate in a time famine. One or both parties are likely to be hit by one stress after another, and marriage is the first thing to suffer. Here are memorable, easy-to-grasp rules to remind readers of their own good common sense - or to help them get off automatic pilot and do something different.
Marriage Rules offers new solutions to age-old problems ("He won't talk" or "She doesn't want sex") as well as modern ones (your partner's relationship with technology). You'll also learn how to:
- Calm things down and warm them up
- Talk straight and fight fair
- Listen well as a spiritual practice
- Get a grip on intensity and "over talking"
- Connect with a distant partner
- Survive the unique challenges of children, stepchildren, and difficult in-laws
- Follow a 12-step program to overcome defensiveness
- Know how and when to draw the line
- Take back your marriage when things fall apart
So here it is - a treasure chest of lively, practical advice to help you navigate your relationship with clarity, courage, and joyous conviction.
- Audible Audio Edition
- Listening Length: 5 hours and 19 minutes
- Program Type: Audiobook
- Version: Unabridged
- Publisher: Brilliance Audio
- Audible.com Release Date: January 5, 2012
- Whispersync for Voice: Ready
- Language: English
- ASIN: B006TQVMBU
The timing of the arrival of this book was somewhat uncanny, as it arrived the day after my wife and I had had our first fight in quite a long while (in the past, there have been rough spots). During that fight, uncharacteristically, my wife was really anger with me and lost her temper, screaming and yelling and cursing; that night, she even slept in another room. The next morning my instinct was (fitting of Ms. Lerner observation that we tend toward fight or flight) to be frosty, but I reminded myself that won't change a downward spiral effect; so I tried to be pleasant, but that probably just got me to neutral. Then, a few pages in to Marriage Rules, Lerner wrote (quoting a friend and colleague): "It's just when your partner is being the biggest jerk that you're called upon to be your best self." Now, my wife wasn't really being a jerk (I could understand why she was disappointed in me, even if she was over-reacting [from my vantage point]. But it helped me reset my emotional thermostat and got me excited about Ms. Lerner's new book.
The excitement wasn't because of any big breakthroughs, but because the book offers timeless reminders delivered in an engaging way and illustrated with good vignettes. For example, in Rule #43 in the "Fight Fair" section, she tells about a San Francisco-based couple that fought viciously over just about everything. They seemed to have no control over their attacks on each other -- until a distinguished British professor stayed as a house guest for months, sleeping in the bedroom right next to theirs. Over those months, they were courteous with each other and agreed it was among the best months of their marriage. The point: you have more control than you think.
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